Etiqueta: Personal

Giver or taker, which one are you?

Publicado en leadership, organizational culture, Sin categoría, teamEtiquetado como , , , , , , Deja un comentario

In the previous post Explanations, motives and timing. Actions talk about us, we took a look at the «Why, When and How»  that defines our truly personality. In today’s post I would like to elaborate a bit more on the Why, on its impact on us and what surrounds us (colleagues, organizations, society). As an essential ingredient of that «The Why» we see two different kinds of people:

Takers: Who are self-servers in there interactions: What can you do for me?

Givers: Most of their actions are based on a What can I do for you?

So, givers, they take the worst part in the P2P business of interaction between givers and takers. They put a lot of effort. They spend a lot of time trying to improve the team at a high cost for them. Bad for them, good for their organization. They are the key stone for team building, for collaboration and great motivators. But, be careful and remember that they need to be handled with care mainly when they are surrounded by Takers, because we can lose them. They can get frustrated.

We dedicate a lot of time and energy to our organization, there is a lot of us on their success or failure, on the speed of change, … And because we never leave a 100% our personal life out of the workplace neither who we are (behavior=our moral compass + our mood + background + a response to others actions + many other things) we can not afford loosing givers on the way.

Adam talks about 3 possible ways that will create a «net» of successful givers:

  1. Protect them from burnout
  2. Encourage help-seeking
  3. Keep the wrong people off the bus

I highly recommend you watching this TED Talk by Adam Grant, enjoy it.

 

Explanations, motives and timing. Actions talk about us

Publicado en attitude, Sin categoríaEtiquetado como , , , , 2 comentarios

Ultimately, we all do and don’t do things for a reason. The «When and Why» behind our options capture the attitude towards the rest. Reflects who we are.

Why? What you tell to yourself or what you say when someone asks you…

  • I love doing it
  • I have to
  • It’s the right thing to do
  • I have been told to …
  • Someone must face it
  • I am better than XXX
  • I will be recognized for…
  • I have never done anything different
  • No one has thought about it, maybe it works
  • It can be done in a different way
  • I have come up with a great idea
  • We do it every day
  • ….

When? Is it  a one time action? Are you always like this?

  • Only when we are asked to
  • Every time we face the same situation whether or not we are being watched
  • Just when we know/think that someone is looking
  • We are just looking for the occasion to be noticed. We provoke it.

We decide our moves, our adventures.  Because, we always have a choice. Are we in? Or do we let it go? When in, are we a 100% in? Every single time? Rarely? It depends?

Attitude is the sum of many things. A constant in our behavior.

What defines us, make us «classifiable» (if you love labels) is the regular «Why» we tell others + the truthful reason behind our action (that can be sensed), + the «When» and, of course, the «How».

Where do you fit? What drives you?

 

Weaving your network. Weaving your web.

Publicado en attitude, leadership, Sin categoría, teamEtiquetado como , , Deja un comentario

When we talk about » our network», we usually think about it from a professional perspective only. But it is far more than that, it is a personal web formed with family, friends and occasional contacts not directly related with our profession or daily activity.

The network we have created is part of a greater thing, part of a Web, a “personal spider web”.

Built during years through different phases, in the earlier steps of creation, the family ties. Then, kinder garden, school, college friends. And finally those who we meet during our professional life. There is an invisible line that connects us with each of them.

 Our webs can be classified into two types:

  • Concentrated:

Tight&Strong links with and between the different constituents. We care about each of them (of course in different ways…). Its configured by those who inspire us, who teach us, … We dedicate to them time, to connect, to listen, we then, strengthen the link. Being at the center of this cobweb means that if we jump we will gain momentum, in case of troubles we will find help. As per its structure our web can do the same for others.

  • Dispersed:

 Widespread web, weak tights. We can care but we can’t dedicate enough time or just care about the number of constituents, no matter what. If we do not take care of each thread, if we don’t check out and fix when a problem arises, the quality declines. And finally, it can break.

 A concentrated web is more effective, from a professional and personal perspective. We should pay attention to what matters, and take care of it. Ensure that the invisible line is strong. By that, any time that the other’s web grows ours will do so.

 Every time we meet someone, we have the opportunity to include him in our network.

Stuck in a moment, but you can get out of it

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Did you find yourself banging your head against a wall for a while? That you are spinning around? That, you are stuck in a moment (like the song says), and you can’t get out of it? I have prepared 5 tips  for you that can be helpful.

 

1. Spare time: allow yourself have a blank morning, or an hour. Work hard, play hard. Sometimes we think we are so busy that there is not any room for fun. We need more space for peace of mind. More space for surprise. Let yourself think out of the box. Let your team do the same.

2. Trust. Towards others do not start a conversation with someone you have just met by judging. Expect the best from them, even more if you do not know them yet. They could be that difference you need. Build trust towards you, stay true to your standards.

3. Acknowledgement. Let others know when they did a good job done, when you liked it, honestly. Celebrate success, even more than when it is yours. Be proud, do not hide of what you believe in, or you do. Be thankful if someone makes a compliment.

4. Confidence. You could be that type of people who is an explorer, who does not stand by standards. If others think differently from you does not mean you are wrong. If you are not an explorer but a follower, do not tell the others they are wrong when they prefer to plunge into the jungle. Some of their bright ideas could bring you out of dark!

5. Listen. Always and mostly to who does not see the world as you do. You can always get the best advice from those who know you and might think alike. But open your mind. Could it happen that they show you something new? Or make you realize that there is a better approach for your project? Or that you just need to let it go and start from scratch?

You can never find alternative paths following the same road.

The contagion effect (we can be heroes…)

Publicado en attitude, leadership, teamEtiquetado como , , , 1 comentario

Changing oneself is not easy, changing a group’s behavior is complex

Usually we think about transformation from a top-down perspective, change must be accepted, promoted and lead by top management. They believe in it, they act consequently, movement begins. But, there are times when this doesn’t happen or it is not enough. A Bottom-up approach is what it is needed.

But, Why is so difficult to change the way we do things? Why is even more complicated to change a Company’s values (through employees’ behavior)? Because of individual ATTITUDE.

Attitude, is what we bring from home, it’s how do we face life. It can be conservative, aggressive, positive, negative, … many things. Is it possible to trigger the change in your attitude? Of course it is. One I like to explore today is by «contagion».

«Contagion way» – «Contagion effect»:

  • Patient zero can no longer handle the current situation. It goes against his deepest principles, his/her personal rules. He chooses to stop accepting, tolerating, he chooses to change his attitude.
  • Patient zero always had a «different» attitude. Apparently with crazy ideas, deep believes.

Both patients end up being the one who isn’t like the others. Who goes against the tide. Despite fighting alone, being exposed, knowing they are observed, they keep going. They have a special freedom, the one that is given by consistency.

All of the sudden, another one decides to join patient zero.  To get infected. Now both are exposed. But, they keep going. Patient zero does not have to be a natural leader, he can be an occasional one. That is sufficient.

Do not try to infect everyone the very first day. It will take time. Just add more and more people to your different craziness. This will end up in a big group. That’s when it will become the new normal. This is when the old way will no longer be ok. A change in our attitude, the true transformation.

Act positively, be consistent, do never accept what goes against your principles. Your principles tell who you are, no matter where.

Take a look at this video, it adds movement to the contagion effect:

Leadership – contagious behavior

 

The more I observe change around me and the motives behind it, the more I like this topic.

Curiosity killed the labels

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Or when the need or desire to learn more frees us

We all tend to label people. It is human. It makes life easier, keeps everything in some kind of order for us. This is this, he/she is … And it gets more important if we are the kind of person that likes every single thing in its place.

But when we label people three things happen. Firstly, we spend a lot of energy classifying, deciding what the other is or seems to be while finding new adjectives that keep him/her tagged. Secondly, as we have decide to put them in a specific place we close the door to difference, we tend to isolate from the rest. Our comfort zone, our comfort group. And, lastly, we may feel that we know a lot, that there is no need to be taught anything new. If this happens, we can be walking the unlearning path, towards stagnation.

When you decide to learn, your curiosity grows. The more you know, the more you need to explore unknown lands. Then you start caring less about who and more about what. The time dedicated to label people reduces significantly. Listening increases. Of course, this does not mean you need to agree on everything the other says and thinks. It means you are more open minded. You are freer, there is less need to sort things, to have everything classified. All the effort is focused in expanding your knowledge.

Once you tag less, you hear and understand, then, you are able to adapt your speech to different listeners. New conversations arise, a whole new horizon is ahead of you. But also, you save a lot of energy, complete focus on developing yourself, following YOUR own way, caring less about what others do, think and say.

Not easy to stop categorizing all of the sudden. Being curious, helps. Maybe, that one you thought was YYYY can tell you so many things about what you are interested in. Remember, you can label but at the same time you are being labeled too.

 

Rafa, thanks for recommending me «Meditations by Marcus Aurelius». Awesome lecture.

 

 

 

Board games and team culture

Publicado en Sin categoría, teamEtiquetado como , , Deja un comentario

What could Organizations, teams and board games have in common?

Starting a new job is like buying a board game. One you have never played to. One you might have heard about or you suddenly saw, read its description, liked and bought. This game, is the company, the organization.

You open the box and you find different stuff: A paper (or where to look at them on the internet) with the rules, indications to know how to get started, the game pieces you will need, and of course, the board.

Let’s talk about «rules». Written Rules are the organization culture, how things are done, what you can and you can not do. If you want to play by the book,to fit, you need to learn and apply them.

What about the «unwritten rules»? Lots of time not everything is on a paper. At some point there was an agreement, what to do when… it was kept for that group of people, for every team they played. This is the team culture. How do we do things around here, what we didn’t know and what we adapted from the written ones. If you want to play, you will need to know them and apply.

When playing in a different group, questions need to be asked, you need observe how others behave, accept or refuse to play under different rules, use your usual strategy or completely change it. And… always have fun. If you don’t, if there is no fun at all, change your partners or play a different game.

Christmas time has been awesome, now we are back to work with new challenges and possibilities.

Enjoy everything that is ahead. Good stuff is just around the corner.

 

What part do you want to play in Life’s movie?

Publicado en Actitud, IniciativaEtiquetado como , Deja un comentario

La vida transcurre día a día, fotograma tras fotograma de una película. Al igual que cada día elegimos cuáles son nuestros estándares, por los que nos vamos a regir, también podemos y debemos elegir a qué lado de la pantalla nos situamos. ¿Somos actores o queremos ser espectadores?

El poder que cada uno tiene es el de decidir dónde quiere estar y el rol que quiere jugar. No permitas que otros decidan ni del lado de la pantalla del que vas a estar (que vivan la vida por ti) ni el papel que ocupas si estás en el reparto de actores.

Es indiferente el ámbito al que apliquemos estos conceptos: pareja, familia, amigos, trabajo… qué más da. En cada momento/situación para cada uno de ellos, eliges QUIÉN quieres ser.

¿Porqué siempre tienes que hacer de actor protagonista? organizar todo, arreglarlo todo, opinar de todo…

¿Porqué siempre asumes el papel de actor secundario? Colaboras en todo, sigues en todo, afirmas en todo…

o… ¿Porqué eres un mero espectador?Permites que los demás te organicen la vida, y sólo ves las cosas pasar.

Nada es inamovible, nada es permanente. Elige qué quieres ser, quizás en algunos ámbitos, algunas veces, querrás ser el prota (llevar el peso de la conversación), otras meramente quieras actuar como secundario (el restaurante que elijan estará bien seguro) o puede que quieras disfrutar de lo que sucede y observar (Quizás me sienta tan tranquilo que no tenga la necesidad de hablar), coger el bol de palomitas y el refresco y simplemente observar. Ya elegirás si sigues viendo la película o buscas otra que te guste más.

Un cachito de nuestra libertad personal, reside en elegir quién queremos ser y permitirnos serlo. Puede que quien sigue atado por cadenas invisibles no alcance a comprenderlo pero, ¿porqué tienes que limitarte a cumplir con un papel de por vida?

Por cierto, gracias Rafa por tan buenas conversaciones!!

 

C=N-r

Publicado en Actitud, IniciativaEtiquetado como , , , Deja un comentario

Una más que añadir al coleccionable. Una fórmula, una aproximación al cambio de porqué hacemos las cosas, cuáles son las causas….

C= Cambio

N= Necesidad

r= resistencia

El cambio se produce, como no, como respuesta a una necesidad:

Una necesidad personal, interna, de inquietud, de algo que puede mejorar… una necesidad que se va haciendo mayor, que acelera, que nos provoca una urgencia. Una urgencia a que las cosas no sigan como están. Dueños de nuestro cambio.

Una necesidad, provocada por un agente externo y que a nivel personal nos fuerza a movilizarnos, una ruptura, un despido, una promoción… Seguidores.

Una necesidad, que como empresa «provocamos» a cada uno de los miembros. Un entorno cambiante, la imposibilidad de quedarse atrás, hay que hacer de manera diferente, no podemos seguir siendo los mismos. Liderar para el cambio.

Una necesidad provocada por la aparición de nuevos participantes, nuevos competidores, … que nos obligan a reaccionar, reaccionar ante el cambio.

Y… la r?? La (R) corresponde al grado de resistencia. Cuanto más baja es la necesidad, cuanto más status quo, mayor es nuestra Resistencia. Deja las cosas como están, que así va bien. Y si así son las cosas, ¿Para qué el cambio? Nos resistimos a nuevos planteamientos, dejamos que el resultado de la fórmula sea cero.

Pero a medida que N es mayor, R baja (y, obvio… crece la fuerza del Cambio). La necesidad nos saca de la zona de confort, sí o sí. Cuánto más te alejes de esa zona, mejor.

 

Pon en marcha tu C=N-r. Muévete y mueve lo que te rodea, genera sensación de urgencia, de movilización, o ¿podemos quedarnos atrás?

 

Gracias por conversaciones que inspiran posts como este.

Every time you choose your standards

Publicado en Actitud, IniciativaEtiquetado como , 1 comentario

Valoraciones tales como grado de exigencia, rendimiento, confiabilidad, calidad, excelencia, garantía… ¿Dónde encontramos el origen para todas ellas? Su base se encuentra en la definición o establecimiento de los estándares que nos fijamos y de los que observamos.

Los distintos ángulos de análisis que visitaremos son:

  • Siendo el origen nosotros
  • Los que “observamos en los demás” (Expectativas)
  • Establecidos o marcados como grupo

 

Auto-definidos:

Cada día tomamos múltiples decisiones. Entre ellas decidimos qué actitud tomaremos o mostraremos, nuestro trato con los demás, nuestro rendimiento, cómo ejecutamos el trabajo…Cada día, establecemos nuestros estándares. Cada día, decidimos lo que vamos a ser.

Y cada una de las acciones que realizamos supera, no alcanza o mantiene esos estándares.

 

Los que “observamos” o Expectativas generadas:

Cada una de nuestras acciones, también tiene un impacto ya sea directa o indirectamente en el resto de personas. Sobre la base de lo que observamos (y experimentamos) durante un periodo de tiempo nos forjamos la imagen o idea de lo que otros son. Y esperamos un comportamiento o respuesta a futuro, lo que consideramos expectativas.

 

Estándares establecidos:

El equipo (y leímos que también la cultura) marca qué esperar (sus propios estándares de trabajo) y cada uno de los miembros se adapta, amolda a la dinámica / media definida, encaja.

Cuando nuestros estándares individuales chocan o difieren considerablemente de los del grupo, es cuando como individuos nos sentimos fuera de lugar (sentimiento de no pertenencia) y, con bastante frecuencia, aparece la frustración si no somos capaces de gestionar y/o reaccionar adaptándonos al entorno.

 

Constantemente estamos definiendo lo que somos, cómo lo mostramos, bajo qué paraguas nos movemos y cómo respondemos cuando las circunstancias nos son adversas. Lo que los demás ven, es una consecuencia.

 

Agradecimiento a A learning a day