Categoría: attitude

Sailing, freedom and discipline

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Did you ever find yourself wondering how did you end up somewhere? Like, if you had gone out for sailing, apparently knowing what your destination was and all of a sudden…. in the middle of the sea, with no clue of at what point did you loose your way or how to rectify to be back on track.

On the long run, when you realise that you are completely on the opposite site of where you wanted to be it’s because (let’s think that) you set your goals, your milestones, … but you didn’t check how were you doing, maybe the wind’s direction changed and you kept doing the exact same thing, you let the time go by, you got carried away. Had the right idea, the wrong execution. What you thought would give you freedom, keeps you captive. But, when you are not navigating alone, if you are the ship’s captain, you have a responsibility towards your crew.

On the short term, the feeling is a bit different. You feel there is never enough time, you are always running behind schedule, slave of your agenda, dependant on your team’s response time. And again, this time if you are the captain, you can not subordinate your crew’s time to your agenda.

We always think about freedom as: time off, financial freedom to do whatever we want (when enjoying our free time), the space to create, to experiment, to have leeway with design delivery, …

There is no Freedom without Discipline. Do you want to be sure you are following the right course? Be disciplined to check the progress, to correct if necessary. Do you want to have free time in your agenda? Be disciplined, respect timetables, respect the others agenda’s. If you live in chaos, you will be always trapped. If you live in chaos, you can drag your team into your chaos, invading their time management.

Each of us is responsible for being self-disciplined, for establishing our rules. If we have discipline, we are «free». Then, it’s easier to define our limits, what we allow and we don’t to others do with our time.

You can read this interesting post (on one of my fauvorites blogs.. ):  A learning day (discipline equals freedom) or listen/watch the  Interview (Jocko Willink)

If you want to read about my view on Who owns your time?  you can find it in this old post.

Thanks Peter, it’s always nice chatting with you.

 

The art of plunging into the water

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Summer time, hot weather, … Guided by locals we reached a super nice spot, a natural pool. You are considered one of them (locals) when you jump into the cold water, no questions asked. Only the «locals» are brave enough…

Did I try? Of course I did. I dived into the river once, twice… it was really fun. Not two times the same way, but for the first dive I did it my own way. After that, and in between jumps I took some time to watch the «in-the-water-for-first-time» style of the rest of the people around. I don’t recall two people asking the same question or diving into the same way.

Any questions before we start? Some just asked one question, if it was deep enough to jump, to dive headfirst, from the platform of rocks, and others didn’t ask at all.

How will you do it? I saw who progressively got into the water, who did not get wet above the wrist, conservative at first, risking more at each essay…

Time to action? 0, no questions. Seconds after asking. Minutes, eternity (never went into the water).

Any Support team with you? No, I want to try alone. But also who wanted or needed to jump off hand-in-hand, who asked their colleagues which was the best way to do it, a group of friends just jumping (Fear out!) after seeing the first one diving in…

Style? Any support material with you? There were who just waited until they thought no one was looking (they didn’t like being observed), others that appreciate and liked being cheered up, also who looked for the approval for the «go! it’s safe» from the friend who just jumped in before and was looking from the other side of the river.

Most of us, when we are challenged by something new, we tend to approach it from the closest position to our comfort zone. After that, when we feel more and more safe we are able to try differently. It is ok when there is someone to ask, someone to rely on. It can be scary when we do not know if water will be too cold, too deep or dangerous. So listen to your guts, what do they tell you?

Hey all! We are back. Thanks for visiting!!!!!!

The inevitable no

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Don't ignore a request. Explain your motives.

In any culture NO is not an easy word to use when being asked to do something. It might look that when we say I can’t, I do not know, I haven’t that information, I won’t be able to do it, we don’t sell this product, won’t deliver on time, … we will not be asked again, will not be considered.

 

Well, that depends. It depends on how do we say no.

  • Do you explain the objective reasons why you are not accepting to a job? Why you can’t commit?
  • Are you giving alternatives to your speaker? Are you able to redirect him so he can find the appropriate service?
  • Are you telling them that there is no business case for you?
  • I can’t bring down the price. This is what the service costs.
  • If it’s a time issue, do you give a realistic delivery time? Not now, I am too busy but I could do it in 2 months.

Or just a cold… NO, I can’t?

And, as in others posts… as important as the «how» is the «WHEN«.

  • Do you say no without even hearing all the request?
  • Are you giving a Yes for an answer just to postpone the final inevitable no? Are you awaiting the other to just get tired and stop asking about the request?
  • Is your answer a: «Let me see..» and after that, radio silence?

There is no big deal (well, if you are talking to someone who doesn’t accept a no for an answer… maybe he/she will have an issue) for giving a no for an answer. Expectations need to be calibrated.

We say no, we give explanations, alternatives, reasons. We are doing all the best we can. And it’s paid-off with long term relationships. Those who didn’t do business some time ago, will come back when you fit their needs. Because you listened, understood, balanced expectations and gave alternatives.

No, is not a bad thing to say. And it’s not easy. But in the end it builds more than it destroys. Creates a base for trust.

 

A post about Time management is.. coming soon!!!

The roller coaster: friends, colleagues & teams

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team development
Years ago I took a ride on a roller coaster with some friends. It was a new one, something different, unknown, the ultimate amusement in town. Recently, while talking to colleagues, this moment came back to my mind. The similarity between this amusement and how does individual mood impacts on the rest of the team inspired these lines.

Before we got on, some of us tried to explore all the posible details of the steel structure draw. Others of us didn’t even want to look.

As we were quite a big group, we could not fit all in the same wagon. So, we would have the experience with different time offsets. Also, it meant that a few would have to sit with strangers.

During the ride, emotions and reactions were completely different between us. Fright, enjoyment, expectation, … Laughs, screaming, silence due to panic, dizziness, …

Not possible to have two people with the same expectations, reaction, same emotions at the same time.

When being part of a team and we are:

  • Facing new horizons:
    • We can start a project with some friends, and sit in the same front wagon. As we progress we will not feel the same way, we will not have the same reactions. But it’s good to know that we are all there to support each other. And it’s also important to teach the ones who got on the last wagons.
    • If we are joining an existing and robust team there is no front wagon for us. Then it’s really important to have the support of those who already lived what we are going through. To have some guidance and understand what will come after and be as much prepared as feasible.
  • Dealing with individuals states of mind:
    • Around us there is who is in a similar momentum as we do. We feel comforted, understood. And it feels good, we are not alone, we have some support.
    • But there is always, always, someone who is in the other side. If they are up we need to get close them and let us catch by their good vibes. If they are down, we need to help them, try to contagiate some positivity or at least, let them feel that the team is there for them.

 

The moral of our team has a high impact on our performance. And after one roller coaster another one will come. Don’t you want to have the more fun you can and the best results?

 

Summer holidays are reaaaally close. Use them to recharge your batteries.

The «mojo» issue

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Photo by Anna Sullivan on Unsplash

«Mojo», Slang word to define Magical charm, enthusiasm, talent based on personal appeal, influence, confidence, style, … From time to time, issues arise. We, then, loose our «mojo» and we face the lack of interest, problems to focus, we are less attractive, finishing tasks on time is very complicated.

We as individuals, we radiate «magic» when feeling special, balanced, happy. We perform extraordinarily when enjoying what we do. All of a sudden, pop! It’s gone. Someone stole your «mojo». As a matter of fact, this is something that can not be stolen. We simply lose it. Because we let criticism get to us, we change the way of doing things just to please others or just for fear. Then it’s when slowly, very slowly, we loose interest for what we do, we stop learning, we no longer have fun.

Companies will go through exactly the same phases. They can lose their essence, without realizing, just following a trend or to ensure success by just producing their top sales, no innovation on the horizon. So, the same company gets bored, just the same day after day. And, all of the sudden, competitors are ahead of them!

You need to refocus, rediscover what made you vibrate. Why did you start all this adventure? Is still the same thing that makes the ball roll in? Or you have changed? New us, with old manners (even if it’s as an individual or a company).

Regain your charm, surround yourself by that magic generators again. And everything will be ok, back on track.

 

Bumps, reactions and responses

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Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

When we face bumps in the road, we have different reactions (was it my fault?, why the h*** did he/she do this? and we chose responses (what is the constructive way to solve this?).

Our success will depend on the «magnitude» of our reaction and the time until response:

(1) Something negative happened to us. It feels good to stay in this mode for a short time. But the more time we spend wondering, regreting about what? and Why? the less we will  be able to figure out how to move on. Allow yourself for a very short time complaining. Then, stop moaning, plan, act: solve it and get going. Leave negativity behind.

(2) Someone acted in a way (made, said, wrote….)  we didn’t like. The less time between reaction and response, the lower the probability of success. So, wait, do not send that email yet, do not make that phone call inmediately or do not explode during the meeting. Calm down, act being constructive and get going. Leave the negative feelings behind.

(3) We were requested to deliver something but we have no clue what is the approach  or we have not come up with any brilliant idea yet. Well, here procrastination might help (if we are not under a tight schedule). When we stop worrying, focusing too much and direct our effort and attention to different topics, all in the sudden THAT brilliant idea emerges from «nowhere». This is when it’s time to use all that «finally-I-came-up-with-something» positive energy in responding by creating something amazing.

We do not control everything that occurs to us, but (as we have said many times before) we are responsible for the way we respond.

Would you be able to translate these 3 modes into a formula?

Explanations, motives and timing. Actions talk about us

Publicado en attitude, Sin categoríaEtiquetado como , , , , 2 comentarios

Ultimately, we all do and don’t do things for a reason. The «When and Why» behind our options capture the attitude towards the rest. Reflects who we are.

Why? What you tell to yourself or what you say when someone asks you…

  • I love doing it
  • I have to
  • It’s the right thing to do
  • I have been told to …
  • Someone must face it
  • I am better than XXX
  • I will be recognized for…
  • I have never done anything different
  • No one has thought about it, maybe it works
  • It can be done in a different way
  • I have come up with a great idea
  • We do it every day
  • ….

When? Is it  a one time action? Are you always like this?

  • Only when we are asked to
  • Every time we face the same situation whether or not we are being watched
  • Just when we know/think that someone is looking
  • We are just looking for the occasion to be noticed. We provoke it.

We decide our moves, our adventures.  Because, we always have a choice. Are we in? Or do we let it go? When in, are we a 100% in? Every single time? Rarely? It depends?

Attitude is the sum of many things. A constant in our behavior.

What defines us, make us «classifiable» (if you love labels) is the regular «Why» we tell others + the truthful reason behind our action (that can be sensed), + the «When» and, of course, the «How».

Where do you fit? What drives you?

 

Inner voice vs. pros&cons. Ready? Fight!

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Every day we chose, we decide. When the issues we deal with are familiar, simple, we go for it unconsciously. But when we face an important decision, we need some help. And for that we have our inner voice. And she will start telling you: you should do it, don’t accept it, move away, take it, leave it, buy it… In a quiet or loud way.

So here you are, in doubt, uncertain about the «what if», the scenario you will have after the decision. And you decide to write a pros&cons list. You do it because there is a conflict between your nature (or your status quo) and what that «rebel» voice is whispering (or shouting, who knows).

Ready for a good fight? Go!

Round Resultado de imagen de round 1 box

You have already made a decision. You make a pros&cons list just to confirm, reassure yourself or to have moral support.  You will find as many pros or cons (depending on what it will imply) as needed. And the main, true reason will be written there.

Round Imagen relacionada

There is an opportunity, you did not go for it. It just appeared, unexpected. The Inner voice says: why not? it can be fun. even though it’s scary I should give it a try. But, hold on… it’s disrupting your easy going life. So you write a list just to see if  the answer will show up there. Pros, cons.. pros, cons.. and after a while looking at it, you decide, also listening to your voice. In fact, you were always in Round 1, but .. needed to check there was nothing too strong to start the adventure.

Round Resultado de imagen de round 1 box

You are too afraid of what is different, you are averse to risk…. Or you listen to who is too conservative and don’t want to see you explore. But you still write the list. But it be of any help? You will work too hard on cons. You will shut up your inner voice trying to convince her that staying where you are is the more reasonable thing to do. Cons where very strong…  Better not to move. And you will regret this moment in the future.

 

Years ago, when facing multiple-choice exams we were said not to re-read too many times what we would mark. Read, decide, go through it once more and continue.

Making choices in life is a similar thing, hesitate if you want, re-read, listen to your inner voice. Decide. You will not regret it. You explored, balanced and moved on. Do not allow yourself to reach «round 3».

 

Weaving your network. Weaving your web.

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When we talk about » our network», we usually think about it from a professional perspective only. But it is far more than that, it is a personal web formed with family, friends and occasional contacts not directly related with our profession or daily activity.

The network we have created is part of a greater thing, part of a Web, a “personal spider web”.

Built during years through different phases, in the earlier steps of creation, the family ties. Then, kinder garden, school, college friends. And finally those who we meet during our professional life. There is an invisible line that connects us with each of them.

 Our webs can be classified into two types:

  • Concentrated:

Tight&Strong links with and between the different constituents. We care about each of them (of course in different ways…). Its configured by those who inspire us, who teach us, … We dedicate to them time, to connect, to listen, we then, strengthen the link. Being at the center of this cobweb means that if we jump we will gain momentum, in case of troubles we will find help. As per its structure our web can do the same for others.

  • Dispersed:

 Widespread web, weak tights. We can care but we can’t dedicate enough time or just care about the number of constituents, no matter what. If we do not take care of each thread, if we don’t check out and fix when a problem arises, the quality declines. And finally, it can break.

 A concentrated web is more effective, from a professional and personal perspective. We should pay attention to what matters, and take care of it. Ensure that the invisible line is strong. By that, any time that the other’s web grows ours will do so.

 Every time we meet someone, we have the opportunity to include him in our network.

Forsake the fear. Work on happiness.

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Fear is something that we all experience in our life. Don’t be paralyzed, don’t comply. Take action.

 

When you remain in silence despite disagreeing with what is being said, you keep running in circles, you do something that you do not like, read during a presentation instead of interacting with the public, you are conservative in your approach to a problem solving issue, you do just as you are told or copy from someone who is average, it’s because of fear. And fear, always takes away a piece of happiness from us.

So, Every time… you start a project out of your domain, you speak up, you tell others when something bothers you, when you jump into the unknown, you take risks, you question things, you relocate, you ask when you don’t understand, you meet new people, you walk into a room where you know anyone, you change the approach after realizing that the previous one led nowhere… Every single time you do that, you are moving one step further from your comfort zone, without being aware of it. Firstly the feeling of uncertainty, a different kind of fear. Did I risk too much? What will be the outcome? Could I have done better? Ufff…

The more you move, the less you agree with simply being comfortable, with complying. (If it feels uncomfortable, it’s good: post)

And then, one day, all of the sudden you may find or see something that brings back to your memory that old version of yourself. And you realize instead of jumping into the void (as you feared you were doing), you are greater, better. With new fears ahead.