Categoría: attitude

What when the idea isn’t as good as we thought?

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We are by nature ideas-generating machines. In a day we can ask and answer to ourselves so many times.. What if I did, try? And could I go home using a different route? Why don’t we? Hummm… what would happen if…?

As easy as they flow in our minds wwe let them go when we do not put them into practice.

From time to time, we have THE idea, and we decide to turn the picture we draw in our minds into something real, tangible. We start drawing how it will look like, to think of what we need, key milestones, resources, … Step after step. We give our time, effort, enthusiasm, hope, … All along this journey we are learning, upskilling, evolving. But we don’t realise we are.

Then, we achieve what we thought was our destination, our goal. And after a time of happiness and calm, discomfort shows up, we don’t get the results we expected. We realise it is not working. After all the excellent work, it’s not useful, it’s not the game changer we believed would be.

Nobody likes to be wrong, and so we insist, pushing forward, denying the obvious. To continue in the wrong road is exhausting and frustrating.

Admitting failure is brave. As it is to start again from scratch and to get advice from friends&experts.

Failure is not nice. Denial is fatal.

Yeah, we fail but we learn from it and move on. Better.

Emotional cost: a suggested equation

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Emotional Cost (E.C.) = Effort / Passion

Any project we start, any change we face will require from us a specific amount of effort. Depending on the activity it will be physical or mental. Mental effort can lead to mental or nervous exhaustion.

On the other hand, we find passion which is what we bring. Is the interest we contribute to the project.

When we’re excited about what we are doing, passion is at a very high level, and balances the effort required from us, furthermore, it makes us feel that the effort taken is lesser. E.C. value is <1.

When the thrill is gone, when we don’t believe at all in what we are doing, when required to follow orders (and not used to), passion value goes down and the amount effort required from us, is high, very high. The less passion we have for something, the more effort we feel it needs from us (only to cover the basics). It’s then when E.C.>=1.

When we believe in what we do, if we feel we will make it, we will fight for it, bring all the passion. Work hard, effortlessly. The emotional cost we pay, is low, very low. But, when we don’t belong, we don’t believe the price we pay is so high, our emotional cost raises to the sky.

Not easy to stay true to our beliefs and dreams. Nor to find our way. But when we do, although the road is full of bumps, the journey is far more fun. Otherwise, the cost is huge.

 

Give me the space and the sky will be my limit

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I ‘ve heard that there are creative and logical people.  But both have in common that when allowed to build something new, they come up with brilliant ideas. Ideas that, maybe, for years they have been thinking about but no one could hear them, that were triggered by a comment during an informal conversation, that ….

Want new things? Want to transform your team? Try opening a window, just to get some fresh air, letting people speak up, allowing ideas to flow freely, soon what they will open is a door.

Don’t let any judgment call come in, leave the group develop by itself, build from an old idea. Who knows? Anything can happen. The most tiny, microscopic idea can grow exponentially in a very short period of time.

Give them the tools to include news ways of doing, of thinking. The rest will come up by itself.

Logical or creative, we all have a lot to say, and when we are willing to change and develop, we are given the space to do so, the confidence, the freedom we encounter the «best of us».

Let them build their own future.

Thanksgiving day

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Thanksgiving is celebrated in many countries, being one of them the United States. I have had the opportunity to celebrate this day while staying in New York for an amazing week. Chatting with a friend, she told me that she gives thanks, every day, for what she has but that she specially loves this day because of what it represents: tradition, family, friends and a reminder of the opportunity to say out loud what we are thankful for.

As the end of year gets closer many of us, look behind doing balance of what was lived, what we have done well, what we haven’t done, and so on. I did it this way last year. But I am switching to a Thanksgiving mode.

I am thankful everyday for my well-being, that despite some inconveniences everything is fine, more than fine. I am aware, everyday, of when I am doing the right thing and of course, when I get wrong.

In the end it’s not so important that need to recap, we actually have to stock the good moments. Bad moments will go away, if we did wrong we should readdress the situation and put in place an action plan if we made any mistake.

I am thankful for my friends (laughs and serious talks have been really supportive this year), my family (always there, no complaints, understanding), my work and colleagues (I have been able to learn, develop myself and grow up a bit more), I am deeply thankful for the wake-up calls we have had (and that, luckily, where only false alarms, right Ele?!), for all the NOs I got (fell and got up) and the YES I got (confirming that I was in the right, unknown path).

Definitely, I am switching to a «Thanksgiving» mode. Do you have a list of things you’re grateful for?

 

The exposure effect

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Speakers, «hubbers», central areas, … are exposed to the others’ opinions

Speakers are exposed to others opinions and critics, to their questions. If you are one of those who appreciate feedback to improve, then it can turn into a criticism that you did not ask for, but certainly you can expect.

«Hubbers» or people / teams that receive, transform, share and communicate information are exposed to misunderstandings, can be questionned. They will probably receive feedback even not asking for it. When sharing with others, presenting, they work is questionned, there is always someone who would say it in a different way, with different words. It’s not understandable, simple or clear enough.

Any person who shares (information, knowledge, …) exposes a piece of himself, selflessly. They give a bit of their effort, creativity. Give away a lot, not expecting anything in return. They only ask for «fuel» to fill the gap left, they will usually ask you what do you think? Can I make it different better?

So the exposure effect tells us that the more exposed you are, the more you give yourself to others, the more respect you show when others share with you. Your feedback is constructive, to help them grow.

The less exposed you are, or you allow yourself to be, the easier it is that you can give unnecessary info (I would not say, I would not do). And the less willing to really give a hand.

Networks: the strength of weak ties

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After looking at the strong pieces, we will explore the weak ties, how powerful they are, what we need to do in order to have an excellent network.

Definition: invisible bonds that provide people with access to information and resources beyond those available in their own social circles. They provide the bridges where innovation cross boundaries.

Also identifiable as: that people we met at events, in a meeting that gathered together many people with similar interests. We keep in touch.

Relationship between nodes: acquaintances. That’s why their creation and maintainance require time.

Likely to find in them: High level of new information, possibilities or new opportunities.

If we go one step beyond our personal circles and we look at the organizational networks, we will find that if we want to stay in the current status quo we will stay close to our strong ties. They will reinforce our believes, but we won’t have the opportunity to discover what’s new out there, there will be little room for change. Organizations will work under a silos structure. Instead of that, weak ties, helps organizations to spread knowledge as they help in creating cooperation and coordination. They will break down silos.

So, if they are so benefitial, why we don’t use them more? They push ourselves out of our comfort zones. Firstly, because it’s required to meet new people so to start building them. Secondly, they require time but also mind openness to listen and interiorize different ways of doing or thinking. Finally because we have to overcome the convenience of our strong ties in case of urgency.

Now, do you frequently  find yourself complaining about things not changing? How willing are you to meet new people? Are you ready to keep the effort of avoiding our strong ties in case of help? To jump to ask an acquaitance instead of your close friends?

 

We have been out for a week. This time out was worthy. Battery full for what’s to come.

 

 

New times for construction kits

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Imagine a construction kit of 100 pieces, 1 set of instructions for 5 predefined figures and one single player, yourself. Pretty sure that mostly all of us has had one of this during his life. If you think about it, I am sure you find different behaviors when you observe kids nowadays sharing this toy.

There could be that kind of kid that played alone many times, followed the instructions that came with the toy and and perfectioned the figures to build.  But also, there is that one that didn’t even look at the instructions and just started building.

What happens when we add another player? A younger brother, a neighbour, another friend? Will they still follow the paper piece, will the owner of the game tell the others what to build next and how? Or will they just add more imagination to the game and assemble something different and amazing? Will they decide at the beginning what to build and discuss from time to time, what would happen if they did it that way? Giving the best of each?

When they will grow up, they’ll find a world constantly changing (faster than before), where usually the construction pieces do not come with instructions. And, they will have to get together with other kids who had their own toys and friends.

What do you want them to decide? Play by themselves, play with other kids (expanding their horizons)?

Will you wnat them to follow the instructions, always, as you did? Or will you want themto think out of the box and create something cool?

Will you want them to follow the owner’ orders (well, instructions) or will you prefer to see that each kid gives his best? That there is a debate of how to reach the common goal set before the game started?

The rules have changed, and in this case, what applies to kids applies to us. If you were the one who played alone, gave the orders or follow the instructions, it will be kind of difficult to change and adapt. To take risks. There are new «no rules». Adapt or …. live in the «always have been like that».

What we are, who we are

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There is the story of that guy who was a Top Manager at a very important company. When he had to give a speech, he traveled business-class, stayed at the best hotels and didn’t pay for a single meal.  The time for him to step down, finally arrived. But he still was giving some speeches. But, instead of business trips, high standard hotels, expensive gifts… he had to travel tourist-class, … and what he got after the speech was a mug.

There is also the story of that other one, whose phone never stop ringing, first raw in the important events, all doors opened, all favours asked where done. When he stepped down his phone stop ringin, and when he made the call, there was no answer, no favors done.

Well, teaching here! what you are, goes away, usually with the job and most important the title you holded. Once you are no longer the person who represented a company, you get a mug.

When it comes to the who, it is about how you treated the people that surrounded you, where you nice with them? Did you help when being asked? Teached them? Learned from any of them? The things you take and you leave behind are the important ones, they build the «who». What are you made of. What got you there. And, regardless if you quit, retire, or whatever happens to you that is who you truely are. You will adapt to tourist-class, there will be no issue in paying your own meals…

When you call for help you have more probabilities to get an answer because of WHO you are rather than for WHAT you were.

Never lose sight of what is behind that fancy job name you hold.

 

The club of the curious people

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We receive training, advice, lessons, … We can attend the latest masterclasses, go to the best schools, have the best mentor, pay thousands of euros, spend hundreds of hours, have the «coolest» certificates with the trendy topic on it.

But it’s not what we have, what we received or what it cost. It’s what we do with the learnings. Put them into practice, apply them to our daily work… Do we grow because of them? Are we able to develop a new skill?

And, what motivation is behind? Is it because we are curious? Is the reason that we want to know? Is it because someone enrolled us?

Curiosity, self-development, self-improvement,… they are the fuel that guarantees lifelong learning. Our teachers will be everywhere: Friends, bosses, teachers, books, … We will hear/see/read… and we will practice. If it doesn’t work we will try again, learning from what didn’t work, doing better.

We can pay for tons of class or coaching hours but if we don’t practice, we are just accumulating time and certificates but nothing else. One-offs. It will pass through us.

Come on! Stop leaking out knowledge and join the «club of the curious people». Life doesn’t stop to wait for you to catch-up.

About exams and workplaces

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In my life I have been through many exams and tests. I remember those crowded rooms, the tension, the relief once it was over, … And I found interesting making the comparision between exams and meetings/team’s behavior.

  1. In an exam: You cared more about the typo errors than you cared about your answers being right. Workplace: You care more about noticing others’ mistakes than completing the tasks you were assigned.
  2. Exam: you didn’t read the whole test so you made obvious questions to the professor. Workplace: You don’t process what is being explained and you are just waiting for the slot where to ask your «smart» question (which is not).
  3. Exam: You cheat in a test. Or you just made up a story that sounded like a brilliant answer to you. Workplace: You «enlight» the rest of the team on a subject on which you are no expert or that you just heard from someone else without checking if the information was right.
  4. Exam: It always made me nervous that after finishing an exam everyone would gather to compare answers. It happened after all the process: you had gone into the room (Almost always) focused, read the questions, structured your answers, hesitated and by applying what you learned, some common sense and maybe some magic, you wrote down on a piece of paper the solution to the problem. Workplace: for sure you have been in meetings where no one was paying much attention, or they did but each one got a different conclusion. If you compare answers, it’s possible that you will find yourself with a completely different conclusion than the rest of the team. It doesn’t mean you are wrong.

So, why don’t we stick to the exam’s basics principles while we are at work?: be focused on your role, what you have been asked to do, don’t pay too much attention to what other’s are doing  or to what they did wrong. And, finally, you can stay to compare the answers, but just make sure you are confortable with your understanding of the questions and the solution you gave (you had plenty of time during the meeting to double check). This last one, it’s even more valid in uncertains environments.