life – Road to improvement

Choose your own adventure

6 marzo, 2022Publicado en attitude, communication, decision makingEtiquetado como change, life, PersonalDeja un comentario

During the 80’s and 90’s existed a serial of books that allowed the reader to choose how to live the adventure, by deciding what path to take. Each of them had around 30 possible different endings.

Before the pandemic, we knew how to handle our day to day, and from time to time we could pick up something different, just to give it a try, living a secure experience.

But, COVID, turned upside down our life, transforming it into kind of a “choose your own adventure”. The difference here, is that there were no written possibilities, no written rules. No one told us the way we should deal with the lockdown, how to handle our social relationships also when back to normality and for sure, no one was able to give a guideline on how to go back to ”I know what comes next”.

Any tiny reminder of our previous us, is fine, why not watch again that movie? Change or repeat the small things that are under our control. Build our new, owned ”normal”.

Taking care of our Social relationships

27 septiembre, 2020Publicado en attitude, communicationEtiquetado como balance, interactions, life, relationshipsDeja un comentario

We have a limited amount of time during the day. We need to provide food for ourselves, have restorative sleep, … If we want to make our relationships worthwhile, we need to dedicate them, time. The more is invested in relationships, the less can be dedicate to all the rest of the activities. So, on the long run, the outcome of social relationships must be equal or higher than their costs.

When increasing the number of people we interact with, or the number of different contexts where this can happen, the individual‘s contacts get impacted. We have less energy and availability to devote to our previous contacts and what used to be a pleasant interaction, it can easily turn into occasional and superficial. If we make a cost-benefit analysis, we will come up with the conclusion, that something needs to be left behind. The deepness and close tights of some of our relationships, or some “worthless” interactions.

Sociability and basic needs must be balanced. Our choice. Always. We can not have time for everything. Balance is our mantra.

Us and our memories

9 mayo, 20209 mayo, 2020Publicado en attitude, leadership, trainingEtiquetado como experience, learnings, lifeDeja un comentario

How many things we have learned that seemed imposible, nonsense, useless, hard time more than anything else? School, home, family, friends, work, partners have been and are our learning’ playground.

The Who we are today is the result of adding experiences, trainings and decisions.

We went through a tough time, we had an incredible time
We meet amazing people
We succeed, we failed
We learned how to calculate objects volume, distances, … physics, maths, chemistry
We had an job we did not like, a boss we could not bear
We have learned what we like and we don’t
….

Life is like a river and we can either watch the river flow or we can learn to swim diving into it. If you just look at the river flowing, you will have not learned anything, just letting everything go, repeating the same mistakes, unable to go further incapable to apply learnings as you only memorized them to pass the exam, to put a “check” on your day on that difficult moment. But, when you learn to swim, you are able to use what you have been through in order not to repeat mistakes, to be able to swim in other waters.

Memories will always be there, in a “that instant recall” or “deep inside of you”, how did that instant, that moment, transformed you.

Unfortunately we can not chose the things we want to happen to us, but we can learn, we have that ability. Will you just waste it? Will you be the sum of many things or just a sequence of happenings?

What was highlighted by others before you did

9 marzo, 2020Publicado en attitude, decision makingEtiquetado como choices, effort, life, previousDeja un comentario

You have been asked to read and summarize a document. And someone else was asked to do so before you. That person highlighted what he/she considered were important parts or remarkable ideas.

Should you just replicate what was done and make your someone else’s words?
Should it be a guideline, to develop your own thoughts and comments from where they left it? Enrich someone else’s ideas?
Or, should you make a double effort, ignore the tentation of effort avoidance, start from “non real” scratch and build your own summary and conclusions?

Decision-making can sometimes be like a document overview. You can just repeat what someone else decided was important (keep things like they were), you can enhance someone else’s choices or you just can take it as another piece of information and make your own choices. It all depends on how much do you want to see reality with your own eyes (maybe you will reach the same conclusions as others did), it depends on how much do you want to contribute with your own vision of the world and reality. It’s always up to us.

Around the corner

7 diciembre, 2019Publicado en leadershipEtiquetado como challenge, future, life, PersonalDeja un comentario

We don’t know what we will find, what is awaiting for us just around the corner.

We just know how we did react to the last bump, or success, or challenge,. We just know how faced life yesterday.

We, simply do not know. We just can expect to be prepared to respond, we have the right support with us. We will overcome whatever is waiting for us.

We must be positive, make sure we are ready, think that it will be nothing else but good stuff. Do not be scared. Just be prepared.

What when the idea isn’t as good as we thought?

25 enero, 2019Publicado en attitude, leadershipEtiquetado como decision making, life, project, teamDeja un comentario

We are by nature ideas-generating machines. In a day we can ask and answer to ourselves so many times.. What if I did, try? And could I go home using a different route? Why don’t we? Hummm… what would happen if…?

As easy as they flow in our minds wwe let them go when we do not put them into practice.

From time to time, we have THE idea, and we decide to turn the picture we draw in our minds into something real, tangible. We start drawing how it will look like, to think of what we need, key milestones, resources, … Step after step. We give our time, effort, enthusiasm, hope, … All along this journey we are learning, upskilling, evolving. But we don’t realise we are.

Then, we achieve what we thought was our destination, our goal. And after a time of happiness and calm, discomfort shows up, we don’t get the results we expected. We realise it is not working. After all the excellent work, it’s not useful, it’s not the game changer we believed would be.

Nobody likes to be wrong, and so we insist, pushing forward, denying the obvious. To continue in the wrong road is exhausting and frustrating.

Admitting failure is brave. As it is to start again from scratch and to get advice from friends&experts.

Failure is not nice. Denial is fatal.

Yeah, we fail but we learn from it and move on. Better.

The shiny object

3 noviembre, 20183 noviembre, 2018Publicado en organizational culture, teamEtiquetado como life, Personal, shiny, whatyouareDeja un comentario

Magpies are known for their «thievery», collecting shiny objects to adorn their nests. That fact is not 100% true. The reality is that they are inquisitive, interested in any object but show no preference for shininess. (BBC Article).

How many times have you seen someone going after a project, information, topic, … just because it’s bright? Once collected, once they put their nest’s name on it, they just forget about it and go to find the next one? They transmit a false sense of urgency just to get the team to work and to obtain wow! results. Also, they have a false sense of property, if it glitters it has to be theirs.

How may people do you know like the real bird, who are inquisitive? Who want to understand, investigate, keep and share knowledge? Sense of urgency when needed, a team working towards a common goal, results to be trusted. No sense of individual property, just the need to know more. The name onto something would be a reward.

When we behave as the expected magpie, there is no us, no team, 1+1<2. Only me, I, no one else… noise, fights, agitation and anger. There is always someone faster than you. There is the fear of not being able to collect any more shiny objects.

I am not buying it, I prefer the real magpie. That allows the us, 1+1>2. But this, requires patience, generosity and time. There is less fear to failure, there is more place for success.

Maybe it’s been a weird mix of birds and human behavior but I have seen a few with too many useless bright objects in their nest.

Inner voice vs. pros&cons. Ready? Fight!

10 mayo, 201810 mayo, 2018Publicado en attitude, Sin categoríaEtiquetado como decisions, life, personal development, risk6 comentarios

Every day we chose, we decide. When the issues we deal with are familiar, simple, we go for it unconsciously. But when we face an important decision, we need some help. And for that we have our inner voice. And she will start telling you: you should do it, don’t accept it, move away, take it, leave it, buy it… In a quiet or loud way.

So here you are, in doubt, uncertain about the «what if», the scenario you will have after the decision. And you decide to write a pros&cons list. You do it because there is a conflict between your nature (or your status quo) and what that «rebel» voice is whispering (or shouting, who knows).

Ready for a good fight? Go!

Round

You have already made a decision. You make a pros&cons list just to confirm, reassure yourself or to have moral support. You will find as many pros or cons (depending on what it will imply) as needed. And the main, true reason will be written there.

Round

There is an opportunity, you did not go for it. It just appeared, unexpected. The Inner voice says: why not? it can be fun. even though it’s scary I should give it a try. But, hold on… it’s disrupting your easy going life. So you write a list just to see if the answer will show up there. Pros, cons.. pros, cons.. and after a while looking at it, you decide, also listening to your voice. In fact, you were always in Round 1, but .. needed to check there was nothing too strong to start the adventure.

Round

You are too afraid of what is different, you are averse to risk…. Or you listen to who is too conservative and don’t want to see you explore. But you still write the list. But it be of any help? You will work too hard on cons. You will shut up your inner voice trying to convince her that staying where you are is the more reasonable thing to do. Cons where very strong… Better not to move. And you will regret this moment in the future.

Years ago, when facing multiple-choice exams we were said not to re-read too many times what we would mark. Read, decide, go through it once more and continue.

Making choices in life is a similar thing, hesitate if you want, re-read, listen to your inner voice. Decide. You will not regret it. You explored, balanced and moved on. Do not allow yourself to reach «round 3».